I'm back :)

I find it funny that in January I thought I could blog every day...boy, was I wrong.  I have missed it though.  I found some ideas for blogging/journaling on pinterest, so I am going to use those to give me ideas when I am struggling with what to write about.  But today, I have no loss for words...I know exactly what I need to say.  Three months ago today, Tori was given back to her biological father.  Although there are times when I still question, I have moved on as much as humanly possible and I try to laugh and smile when I think of her instead of cry.  There's a saying out there, "Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened".  Well, I don't always take that approach to things, but as far as Tori goes, that is exactly what I am trying to do...smile because it happened.  I know there is a reason that Tori was brought into our lives.  I also know there is a reason that we lost her...I just don't know what that reason is.  I have come to realize that it is not for me to know.  I am to trust the plan that God has for me and I know that sometimes it will not make sense, but it is not my job to try to make sense of it.  I have grown a lot the past 3 months.  One of my colleagues looked at me the other day and told me she admired me for how I have handled this whole situation.  She told me I could have laid in my bed and cried and mourned and no one would have blamed me.  You know, she's right!  I'm just thankful that I didn't choose that as my way to cope.  I am better because Tori was a part of my life.