A New Start

So, I decided that I needed to start a new blog.  The other blog I had was private and was aggravating for people to access, so I decided if I was going to do this, I needed another blog.  I may blog on the other blog every now and then regarding my sweet ladybug, but right now, I am too raw to write about her...extensively.  What I will say is that not an hour goes by that I don't think of her and miss her.  I have so many questions and am so frustrated about the entire situation.  However, she was a blessing, and she allowed me to be a mama for six months.  I will not lie, I want her back, for good...but it is in God's hands and there is nothing I can do about it. 

So...I guess it is time for a new start.  My last blog was all about our journey with ladybug, and I am not so sure I'll have much to blog about in my new blog, but I'll try to keep it interesting.  For now, I think I may just ramble.

Tomorrow officially begins my track out.  I will be home for about 3 weeks and I am not exactly sure what I am going to do.  I hope to substitute a few days while I am on break, but I don't want to work my whole break.  I need some time to do whatever I need to do to try to move through this grieving process.  I don't know what to do with my pain, questions, doubts, fears.  I've prayed, begged, pleaded, sobbed, faked, etc... but I don't feel like it is working, so I decided I would just breathe.  That's easy enough. 

Kristofer and I had a wonderful vacation at the Outer Banks last week.  We left on Christmas day and stayed until New Year's Eve.  It was nice to get away.  It was my first visit to OBX and I can't wait to go back.  Of all things, we forgot our camera!  I took some pics with my cell phone, but really missed having the camera.  You can bet we won't forget it again!

So, tomorrow is a new day.  I have some things planned to keep busy.  Let's hope it is a good day.